Bleary-eyed, much confused, the boy awakes, and the routine renews:
A sense of foreboding. The dread of failing. Though what’s been done is done. All he can do is pray and hope. He knows he had been treating God as a source of emergency “wish-granting”. Another promise to do quiet time.
Walked aimlessly. Though not alone this time. He signed when he saw the previous clique. He knew he can no longer fit in. Being out of the “loop” for too long. Chilled in the sun, thinking about how life sucks.
Poked fun again at the geeks. Though knowing God will disapprove. The temptation to discriminate and prejudice, too hard to resist. Felt helpless seeing a friend fall deeper into his own emotions.
Swaggered into tutorial, a mask of arrogance. How long is he going to keep up, with all these false pretences? Sat beside the someone, that always sat away. Tried to call for people, just to show some courtesy. Bewildered by the comments she made, about people who came in late. Discovered that wall of principles, that is what she constructs around her. And facing that wall of defiance, his heart and brain gives up.
So ends another day, waiting for a friend. Felt guilty as hell, for talking about him only minutes before. Still weary of the sudden mood swings, from killer to friend. However he ends off well, making him regret about the things he said. Now he know why, God said to not gossip.
So ends yet another day and the boy still waits, for the other piece of his puzzle, to allow the final transition.
