Bleary-eyed, much confused, the boy awakes, the routine renews:
well, been inactive for quite a while, i owed emo boy some entries so here:
was watching mtv with emo boy yesterday. he broke down watching avril lavigne's when you're gone video. Its been a while since he became so emo and it took me aback for a while. Well, emo boy was thinking about his future when the video played and he was very confused. He had always wanted to meet his better half for very long and always lamented how sad it was looking at couples. But the video broke his vision. He realized that he was very afraid of being alone. There was a old man in the video crying as he looked at the photos of his wife and her clothes.
"What if your wife died way before you did?"
"Well, at least she's going to a better place." I ventured.
"I dont think i can take it. Its like a part of you dying too. It really makes me question would i ever dare to find someone who i can spend my life with, share my hopes, fears, my everything only to watch her die someday and leave me only with memories. She is going to leave a huge gap in my life. If i am going to lead that kind of life, i would rather stay single and cope with the loneliness than the gap she would leave. I'm not scared of dying if it means i wouldnt be alone until the day i die. Man, i hate loneliness!"
And with that, he walked out. I guess he is kinda right in a way. For me, its more of the pain (this sounds evil but i hope its pain) my half might go through since i'm going to die earlier. Why would i want someone to suffer what i'm not willing to go through?
When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you When you're gone the face i came to know is missing too When you're gone All the words i need to hear to hear to always get me through the day And make it ok I miss you
So ends yet another day and the boy still waits, for the other piece of his puzzle, to allow the final transition.
