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Catch 22 . +


† Monday, January 25, 2010

i have a problem with obsession.

its easy suppressing emotions.

but the most obscure of things would trigger the pain.

i can actually feel a physical pain right around my solar plexus area, just a very dull, aching pain.

it can be just her picture popping up on windows live.

or a facebook notification regarding her.

i hate how human nature made it so that we always desire what we cannot get.

(yet not cherish what we have already.)

she is everything i am not.

active in church, strong in Christ, studious etc.

so is the reason for my obsession for her, due to my desire to be like her?

because honestly, after mulling over it, i dont think we share anything in common.

previously, the girl i obsessed over was truly a crush ever since primary 5.

until i saw how she turned out in J1 when our paths crossed again.

the girl i am crushing/pseudo crushing now; she actually caught my eye in class orientation.

i was like "whoa, who's the cute chick?"

i swore my heart almost stopped a few times when we played games together.

yet again, even after discovering we share nothing in common, the ache is still there.

so technically the girl i'm obsessing over now is not because i have a crush on her?

then why is that aching so much more intense this time around?

brain VS heart =




trauma.

snippets . @ 6:34 AM

† Monday, January 18, 2010

feeling bubbly today which is rather weird.
how's As? well, i did it seriously this time, and i'm rather nonchalant about the results, its either i make it, or i don't.
the hurdle is cleared, either by stumbling and tripping over it, or clearing it cleanly, it is cleared, and i don't really want to dwell on it.
its all in God's hands i would like to say, problem is you're supposed to work your absolute hardest THEN let God decide, while i....ugh, nevermind, not dwelling on it.

been a tumultuous few weeks, reported back to base, and doing a completely different appointment this time. struggled with it for quite a while, and just when i was starting to get the hang of it, now gotta go for a 2 week course.

had a reaalllyyy deep talk with someone, which i regretted honestly, i just wasn't ready to empty my emotions there and then.
fell head over heels in love with someone i never met, and fell out of love (thank you brain) again.
guess i'd just stick to this:

I just haven't met You yet
snippets . @ 4:49 AM